So she ended up coming over last night at around one am, rather than heading out of town again right away.  The sex that I had been wanting all fucking day was slightly disappointing.  It didn’t click in some way, and I couldn’t cum.  We took a break at some point and talked for a while, which was really good.  We talked about sex, what we like and don’t like, and about our changing relationship over the past six years.  Good conversation, and made me feel good about the way things are between us right now.  Then we got back to the sex and I made her cum, more easily than usual it seemed.  Okay, confession time.  I actually have not had an orgasm with her yet.  I have been faking them.  For some reason I always do that when I start having sex with someone new, because I’m afraid I’ll frustrate them if I don’t cum.  But it sets up a terrible precedent of me being easier to get off than I actually am.  So when I want to stop faking and actually let whoever I’m with have that intimacy and control, it seems difficult.  Plus, I cum the most easily through oral sex, and we aren’t doing that.  I’m not sure if it’s a boundary or not, but neither of us have gone there and I don’t want to be the first in case it’s a no-no.  So no orgasms for me.  I didn’t fake it last night, we got sleepy and fell asleep naked and curled up tightly.  I absolutely love fucking her.  She reacts amazingly, loud and writhey and clutching me tightly.  When she cums she squeezes me really hard and shakes adorably, holding on to me so I can’t move an inch.  I keep wanting to tell her I love her in that moment, but definitely know better.  We had a conversation this morning about falling in love, and how it wasn’t allowed.  I’m not falling in love with her.  This is casual and we are going to keep it that way.  This morning we talked about how this would end, and whether we’d still be friends whenever it does.  She said that as long as I don’t fall in love with her everything would be fine.  I said she shouldn’t fall in love with me and she said there wasn’t a chance of that.  Real flattering huh?  She took it back, or at least said she didn’t mean it as a bad thing, still not the most awesome thing to hear though, even when I don’t want a relationship with her.  Which I don’t.  I’m not ready to fall in love.  So then more hot sex in the morning, and I faked an orgasm, not sure why.  Then she showered and ran off to meet the girl in the other town that she’s in love with but can’t be with.  Fun times.

So who are all you people that read this anyway?  It’s rather odd to write, know people read it, but not know who they are or where they’ve come from.  I’ve been blogging for ten years now, and it still seems like an odd thing to do.